Lake Life Review

Shar-choo-choo What?!

Today, we did a thing!

Amy Thiessen from Lakeside Charcuterie invited us over to learn how to make a charcuterie board. (Good thing for spell check, because I can’t spell it, and I can barely say it.) It’s kind of a running joke with my youngest daughter—every time I try, she corrects me like I’m on a Food Network spelling bee.

MOM. It’s shar•koo•tr•ee.

I, of course, call it shar•choo•choo•ery. Because...trains make everyone happy, right? And it just drives my daughter nuts. That is what mom’s are suppose to do right? (And speaking of trains, don’t miss our feature on the model trains at the Clay County Fair—on page 34.)

Amy forgave my pronunciation crimes, and we got started.

Amy started with talking about how to build our boards like an artist, or photographer would think about layout, follow the rule of thirds, and don’t just center everything like it’s a buffet line at a family reunion. Pay attention to color and balance. Basically, make it look as good as it’s going to taste.

Right out of the gate, Amy had us making salami roses. A salami. Rose. No easing in with a cracker or a grape. Nope—let’s just start out by making roses!

I was mildly intimidated, as I usually am! I hadn’t even settled in yet and I was suddenly supposed to craft cold cuts into floral art? But turns out—it was weirdly easy. You need:

• A 2 oz clear plastic cup
• Five slices of salami, overlapped like petals
• Then about five more, folded in half and rolled together like a cinnamon roll

Plop your little salami swirl into the cup and BOOM. Professional looking flower made of meat. I felt like a charcuterie goddess.

Next, we added the cheeses. We started with Manchego, afirm sheep’s milk cheese that’s slightly nutty and a little sweet. Amy gave us a pie wedge of it and showed us how to cut it into smaller wedges, keeping the wax end on to help maintain that nice, round wheel shape. Then, she taught us how to stack them out like a zipper—just alternating directions with each slice—and suddenly I looked like I knew what I was doing.

Next up was a cubed cheese. called Kerrygold Dubliner. It was great to have those cubes as a

different look for the board, and the cheese tasted amazing. Then came a Bellavitano with a purple rind (which, yes, you can eat), made from cow’s milk. It was creamy, flavorful, and—like everything else so far—so good.

And then... the blueberry vanilla goat cheese, Chevre Hand Rolled Goat Milk cheese, to be more exact. I was not ready. It was soft, fruity, and absolutely delicious. Amy used a cheese wire to slice it cleanly, but if you don’t have one, she says dental floss works just fine. (I wonder if I use my mint kind, if it would make it taste like a minty blueberry goat? Maybe I should stick to unflavored.)

Amy recommends getting one cheese from each milk type: cow, sheep, and goat. This way you have a great variety of textures and flavors, and judging by how quickly we were nibbling as we worked, I’d say she’s onto something.

After adding the cheese, I felt like I didn’t have much more room, but here is where we started piling it on...with fruit, nuts and the fancy stuff.

Amy brought out grapes, raspberries, and strawberries. For the grapes, she snipped small clusters off the vine and tucked the ends under so you didn’t see the stems sticking out. They looked picture-perfect and were just the right size for someone to grab without taking the whole bunch. Strawberries got a simple slice in half, with their green crowns left on for color and—bonus!—a built-in handle. And then came the raspberries, which I will admit are my favorite. They’re like tiny edible jewels, and they add such a fun pop of color.

Amy also added a small handful of walnuts, which not only bring great texture and crunch but also pair beautifully with the cheeses. I wouldn’t have thought to add them myself, but now I’m a believer. She also handed us an adorable jam packet. She said jam is great smeared right on the cheese. I have never tried, but I am going to! It felt very gourmet with almost no effort, and I love when something looks fancy but is secretly easy.

Just when I thought we couldn’t squeeze one more thing on the board, Amy pulled out edible flowers and herbs. I added a sprig of rosemary, some thyme (not to be confused with the kind I waste scrolling Instagram), a bit of basil, and topped it all off with some cheerful pansy flowers. Who knew a few tiny herbs and flowers could make the whole thing look like it came straight out of a fancy food magazine?

YOU GUYS. I DID THIS. It was so fun and turned out looking seriously amazing. If I can do it? Trust me—you can too.

As if the cheese and meat artistry weren’t enough, Amy served us a little something from her 1/2 Gallon Party Pouch—a dry mix you add water (and/or alcohol) to. The one we sampled was her Sunset Blend tea. After having a taste and seeing the fun pouches, I promptly bought the blackberry margarita version for a party this weekend. It only needs 2 cups of tequila and 6 cups of water (or skip the booze for a kid-friendly slush). GENIUS.

As we left with our artfully made charcuterie board, and my Party Pouch I purchased, we walked back through the showroom again—and I fell in love all over again with Amy’s husband, Whitney’s, epoxy boards (I know, this is starting to feel like a choose your own adventure story with all the page flipping—but I promise, it’s worth it! Turn to page 44 to check out Whitney’s work and read about how he got started.)

He makes everything from cutting boards to side tables, even headboards! I have seen his stuff at the farmer’s market and Art in the Park previously, and I’ve had my eye on one of those boards for forever. So yes—I finally bought one. And then I asked Amy if I could also pay her to build a full charcuterie spread on it for me.

I mean, sure, I can make my own now, the master taught us how… but let’s be honest—with that big of a board, I want the queen of charcuterie to do it for me. I want the real deal for my beautiful new board! It’s going to look so good!

A little more about Amy and what she offers. Amy will pop up in some Pearson Lakes Art Center classes or she offers private classes too, so if you’re planning a bridal shower, bachelorette party, girls’ night, or just want to feel fancy on a Tuesday—she’s your girl. Honestly, if I were to ever get married again (Brad, don’t panic, you are my all!), I would round up my bridesmaids and take a private class with Amy and then serve the charcuterie board we created at the shower. I AM BRILLIANT! Or better yet—Brad and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary soon, we might just have to have a party. Girls make the boards. Boys go fish. Then we reunite over cocktails from the 1/2 gallon pouch and eat our art!

It really is edible art.

So go find Amy: www.lakesidecharcuterie.com
104 N. Market Street, Lake Park.
402.630.8118

Whether you need a custom board or a hands-on class, she’ll make it beautiful—and delicious.